Search

Overcoming Shame



In our line of work, we tend to ask a lot of questions, but none seem to carry a greater weight than this one, “What is the greatest need to the human experience?” Social researcher Dr. Brene Brown would ask the same question this way, “Is there one thing everyone is driven by?” Following thousands and thousands of interviews with people from all over the world, she discovered a powerful result: YES, there IS something that everyone is driven by. No matter race, age, gender, ethnicity, geographical location, etc. every person is neurobiologically wired for CONNECTION or in other words, RELATIONSHIP.


We agree with Dr. Brown and would go on to say that there are in fact TWO great needs to the human experience: to know and be known by God and to know and be known by Another. Inside all of us lies a basic desire to be wanted, plain and simple. We want love, and more than that, we want to be FULLY KNOWN AND FULLY LOVED for exactly who we are--no masks, no charades, no gimmicks--just ourselves, fully embraced for better or worse.

So, if we are all wired for connection, then why the relational disconnect and dysfunction these days? One word: SHAME. According to Brown, shame is defined as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” (Shame vs. guilt, 2013).


Shame is sneaky. It mangles itself first in our thoughts, then it wiggles it’s way deep into our beliefs. The debris of rejection and life’s disappointments only reinforce shame’s voice leaving us with haunting wonderings: “If only I were smarter, thinner, prettier, funnier, etc., then I would be happy, find love, be accepted by _____, and on and on.” Or we think, “If only I had not done this or been there, then God would love me. How could He love me after I did ___________” We have trouble owning ourselves completely because we aren’t even sure that we even like or worse love ourselves completely. Therefore, how or why could anyone else like or love me? We learn to become the version of ourselves that we think we SHOULD be hiding our “imperfections” and ultimately isolating ourselves from the very thing we need CONNECTION.


So, what’s the solution? For people who have overcome shame, they shared 4 similarities:

They were VULNERABLE--willing to open their lives to another trusted source

They had a belief that they were WORTHY TO BE LOVED (even though they felt shame).

They were COURAGEOUS--willing to tell the story of who they were with their whole heart.

They were AUTHENTIC--able to let go of who they thought they should be to be who they really are.


Here at YCR, we are passionate about CONNECTION because it holds the key to discovering our authentic selves. We’ve practically built it into everything we do. For more information about how to get connected, contact YCR at 336-629-9988 or email admin@yourchociesrandolph.org.

Let's Get In Touch

We are here for you. No question is too big or small, and no concern is out of our league. 

Contact

P: 336-629-9988 (Call or Text)

E: Yourchoicesrandolph110@gmail.com

Business Hours

Open: 9am-5pm Monday - Friday

Closed: Saturday & Sunday

Copyright 2018  |  Your Choices Randolph

Design - abbygartner.com

Your Choices Randolph respects the privacy of visitors to its website. Your Choices Randolph strongly believes that if electronic commerce and online activities are to flourish, consumers must be assured that information provided online is used responsibly and appropriately. To protect online privacy, Your Choices Randolph has implemented the following policy.

 

Disclaimer

The information contained in this website is for general information purposes only. The information is provided by Your Choices Randolph and while we endeavor to keep the information up to date and correct, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on the website for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk. In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of data or profits arising out of, or in connection with, the use of this website.

Through this website you are able to link to other websites which are not under the control of Your Choices Randolph. We have no control over the nature, content and availability of those sites. The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorse the views expressed within them. Every effort is made to keep the website up and running smoothly. However, Your Choices Randolph takes no responsibility for, and will not be liable for, the website being temporarily unavailable due to technical issues beyond our control.

 

About the Information We Collect

Most of the data and information we collect through our website is used only to help Your Choices Randolph achieve its mission. It is our policy to collect and store only personal information that our clients, donors and other stakeholders knowingly provide.

We do not collect any personal information from casual users browsing our website. When you use the public areas of our website you are doing so anonymously. We do collect aggregate use information, such as the number of hits (visits) per page. We use aggregate data for internal and marketing purposes, but we don't collect any personally identifying information.

If while visiting our website you order a product, register for an event, submit a technical assistance question, or request other information, you will be asked to provide certain information. In all cases, this information is submitted voluntarily. In most cases, we will ask that you provide your name, title, organization name, address, telephone, and email address. If you are making a purchase, you may be asked for credit card information in order to complete your purchase. Your Choices Randolph will follow any federal or state guidelines regarding the protection of your personal information. 

Our client list is not for sale. When you visit our website or become a client, your name and mailing information will not be sold to a commercial organization.

 

Cookies

Cookies are small bits of code that are sent to your computer when you log-on to a website that allows us to identify you when you return to the site. Your Choices Randolph uses cookies only to support the operations of our shopping cart. We do not use cookies to track your usage or any other personal information about you.